I look forward to nothing more than revisiting my favorite museums in Italy and finding new ones to explore but I am the first one to engage in inappropriate behavior if I have to share my space with too many people; I mutter under my breath, I give dirty looks to anyone lingering too long by the signs I’m trying to read, and I passively-aggressively stand in front of anyone who has broken my unwritten rules of behavior.  So I feel your pain if you’re dragged to the museum or just go because it’s there  when you’d rather be hunting down some gelato.  Maybe I can help.

If you call in sick while your travel companions are at the following museums, you will not have missed much, and the following recommendations are based on my very humble, very unprofessional opinion, with no offense intended toward these fine institutions:

Places You Can Skip:

The Accademia Museum, Venice:  Lots of Venetian artists and nothing much in the way of masterpieces you will recognize. You will love the Doge’s Palace (a must) and only like the Accademia.

Castello Sforzesco, Milan:  I had to go through the entire museum listening to an over-educated  tour guide in order to experience the much-hyped statue by Michelangelo which turned out to be an unfinished work nowhere near the breathtaking level of his many works available in Florence and Rome.  Sorry, Milan, nice try, but I’m staying down south next time.

Galleria Borghese, Rome: Do not misunderstand me – this is a spectacular museum with paintings and sculptures by the Great Masters in a beautiful palace.  However, if you’ve already been to the Vatican Museums (which you must visit) and you are not a great lover of art and have had, quite frankly, enough, you are hereby permitted to skip this.  I’ve traveled enough with people on museum burnout who insisted on seeing the Borghese Gallery and were taken out on a stretcher, so don’t push it, especially on your first trip.

Lesser Known Jewels

On the other hand, while everyone is at the Vatican Museums in Rome and the Uffizi in Florence, I highly recommend that you add these to your itinerary if you have a high tolerance for museums.  Or, better yet, if you have the nerve and you’re traveling with kids or squirmy adults, skip the A-listers and go to these instead:

Scuola Grande di San Rocco, Venice:  I enjoyed this so much more than the Accademia in Venice, probably because of the setting; you feel like you’re walking through a palace, probably because you are. Every wall and ceiling is covered with frescoes by Venetian artist Tintoretto, and the floors are ornate marble mosaics.  There is no maze of galleries here, just 2 floors of massive rooms and an ornate staircase.  (Bonus:   Official website with virtual tours)

Bargello, Florence: What kid or adult wouldn’t enjoy looking at a bronze cannon with a man’s face on it and  a giant marble lion wearing a crown, all in a building that used to be a prison?  Add to that sculptures by Michelangelo and Donatello, and you have the Bargello, a fun and fascinating place to explore.

Capitoline Museums, Campidoglio, Rome: Here you will find all kinds of Ancient Roman art (bronzes, marble statues, mosaics) as well as Renaissance art.  The most famous work is the original bronze statue of Marcus Aurelius, dating from 175 AD. Its replica resides in the center of the Campidoglio in order to save the delicate original from deterioration.  Fun stuff here are intact pieces of an ancient Roman statue of Constantine in the form of a huge hand, foot, and head.  I used to bring my kids here for a quick and fun dose of culture and I promise your little ones and big babies will enjoy themselves here.

 

Bonus Tips

• Even with museum reservations I recommend you plan your visit for either the first or last appointments of the day.  No guarantee, but I’ve always been pleasantly surprised at the lack of crowds just around closing time.
• Gift shops at the museums are well run and have high quality merchandise.  If you want a poster, mug, or scarf with your favorite painting or statue, the museum has exclusive rights and you won’t find the nice stuff anywhere else.
• While most museums have a singular route to follow which end up at the gift shop and cafeteria, make sure you consult the map before your party decides to split up and meet at the end.  In some museums, like the Vatican, all roads do NOT lead to Rome and you may never see your loved ones again.
• “No photos” is the most popular and least predictable phrase in all of Italy.  Some churches allow flash photography, others do not allow photos at all, while some museums allow photography without flash. There is no consistency to the rules and I’ve never figured out why it’s different everywhere you go – just read the signs when you enter.  If you don’t like getting yelled at (and believe me, the guards have nothing better to do than catch you in the act), follow the rules.